Okay.
Hey, Dad, can I go away with Ivy and her family this weekend?
Ivy says they have a nice house on the lake.
A weekend getaway?
House on the lake? Crackling fire?
Can you bring a friend?
Or a dad?
Kind of... it's not a getaway unless I get away from...
Me?
Thanks for understanding.
Have fun. Love you!
Hey, Dad.
How are you doing?
Anything you boys care to tell me?
What makes you think we want to tell you something?
That.
Well, well, well, Mrs. Dabney
with a baseball and a satellite dish.
What do I owe you? Don't worry about it.
I still have your credit card number on file.
♪ Today's all burnt toast ♪
♪ Running late, and Dad jokes ♪
♪ Has anybody seen my left shoe ♪
♪ Close my eyes, take a bite ♪
♪ Grab a ride, laugh out loud ♪
♪ There it is up on the roof ♪
♪ I've been there, I survived ♪
♪ So just take my advice ♪
♪ Hang in there, Baby, things are crazy ♪
♪ But I know your future's bright ♪
♪ Hang in there, Baby ♪
♪ There's no maybe ♪
♪ Everything turns out all right ♪
♪ Sure life is up and down ♪
♪ But trust me, it comes back all around ♪
♪ You're gonna love who you turn out to be ♪
♪ Hang in there, Baby ♪
Hey, Charlie.
What'cha doin?
Time out.
What happened?
I was bad.
Could I talk to you in here for a minute?
That's a timeout chair?
This whole time I thought it was just Gabe's chair.
What's going on?
Bob, I am so upset.
Charlie said a bad word at school today.
What? What did she say?
Whoa.
Our little girl said that?
Well, apparently she was making
a macaroni necklace when some kid pushed her,
knocked her macaroni on to the floor, and out came the word.
Well, at least she used it correctly.
Actually her teacher said she's swearing
at a second-grade level.
I just can't picture our little angel
saying something like that. Me neither.
No, I'm sorry. You know what?
Until I hear that myself, I don't believe it.
You're right.
I mean Charlie is the perfect combination of all of our kids.
She's got the intelligence of Teddy,
the sweetness of P.J.
and none of Gabe.
♪ To the mountains we will go, the mountains we will go ♪
♪ To our cabin in the mountains ♪
♪ The Wentzes and Teddy will go. ♪.
How was that one, Teddy?
Oh, best one yet.
Are they gonna do this the whole way?
If you just said, "do they do this the whole way?"
The answer is yes.
So, Teddy, what do you think about the new car?
Oh, it's... it's nice. Mm-hmm.
Bought this one right after you wrecked
my old car Gracie in less than 20 minutes.
Remember that? Sure do.
I had such a bad feeling when I saw you drive her away that day,
but I didn't say anything.
I'll never forgive myself for that.
♪ To the mountains we will go ♪
♪ The mountains we will go ♪
♪ To... the cabin in the mountains ♪
♪ The Wentzes and Teddy will go. ♪.
Okay, Charlie,
Mommy and daddy want to talk to you today about words,
especially new words. Okay.
So let's say somebody
knocked over your juice.
Now what would you say to that?
Oopsy.
But if you really didn't like it?
Uh-oh.
Okay, okay, let's...
let's say somebody took your juice.
Huh? What would you say then?
Or if somebody took your juice
and then did this all over you? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Are we trying to get her to say the word.
Or me to say the word?
Bob, this is silly. I know!
She's not saying it now because she never said it in the first place.
Exactly, she never said it.
Come on, sweetie.
Let's go get daddy a new shirt.
Oh, there we go.
She said it. She said it?
She dropped her doll and she said it.
Oh, Charlie, you didn't.
I did, Daddy.
Won't you come in?
Hey hey, we were watching that.
Too bad. My story is on.
And since you broke my dish, I'll be watching my show here.
If you want some of my popcorn, ask for it.
Can I have some of your popcorn? No.
So what is this show?
It's called "The Tears of Tomorrow."
It's about the Tears family of Tomorrow, Maine.
In the last episode, Chance Tears found out
his seventh wife Amanda is actually a Clone.
Quiet. It's starting.
From the heartaches of today come "The Tears of Tomorrow."
Yeah, let's go, P.J.
Whoa, uh, who... who's that? That's Tiffany Tears.
All she ever wears is a tiny bikini.
It's disgusting.
Sure is.
Ooh, and that's Brick Tears.
He's Chance's 12-year-old grandson.
He's a boy genius with a taste for evil.
Move over!
Amanda, who is this?
I'm glad you asked, Chance.
This is my new boyfriend, Chauncey.
What? But he looks just like me.
That's right. You're not the only one who knows how to clone.
Hoo, hoo, hoo!
Man, I did not see that coming.
Oh, there's Brick. What's he got in his hand?
Brick, what do you have in your hand?
Brick, put that weapon down! No!
Oh!
These have been... "The Tears of Tomorrow."
Wait. That's it?
But what about Brick? And what about Tiffany?
She went to change bathing suits and never came back.
Calm down. The show's on again tomorrow.
Tomorrow?
I did not see that coming!
All right, everybody, we're here.
Where's the house?
Oh, Teddy, it's right out there.
That shack on the lake?
Ivy, you said it was a nice house.
No, I said it was an ice house.
But I'll admit, I do run my words together.
Oh yes, we made it! Well, here we are.
Oh, Teddy, let me give you the tour.
Any questions? Uh, just one.
Is that the bathroom?
Oh no. That's our fishing hole.
That's where we catch our dinner. Oh.
Ivy, could I talk to you for a sec?
Let me give you girls some privacy.
Come on, Harry. All right, all right.
You tricked me!
I knew you wouldn't come if I told you the truth.
Yeah, you're right, I totally wouldn't have come!
Ugh, stop complaining. It's not so bad.
There is a hole in the floor.
Everything okay in here?
Oh yes, it is.
What is the point of a curtain if she can hear us?
I don't know. And why are you still whispering?
Those are two good questions.
So, uh, what did you guys wanna talk to me about?
We'll ask the questions around here.
Now why did you teach Charlie that bad word?
What bad word? Don't play dumb with me!
All right? We can do this the easy way or the hard way.
Your choice, punk! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa!
Sweetie, sweetie, why don't you go take a break?
Go take a break.
Let me talk to the boy.
Wow, your old mom's pretty riled up, huh?
You know, Gabe, sometimes we make mistakes.
But the important thing is to tell the truth.
You can tell your old dad the truth, right?
Dad, you can stop. I know what you're doing.
What do you mean? You're playing good cop/bad cop.
What... honey, he's onto us!
Oh, man!
Yeah, and there's a little problem with your theory
for me to teach Charlie a bad word,
I'd actually have to spend time with her.
You're free to go.
Charlie said a bad word? Mm-hmm.
What was it? We think you know.
No, I don't.
That's terrible.
What does it mean?
You're free to go.
And since Charlie spends a lot of time in our backyard,
we think she might have heard something
from your side of the fence.
What are you accusing me of?
Charlie said a bad word and we think
she might have learned it from you.
What was the word?
I wasn't saying it to you!
You sure won't be saying it twice.
Teddy, I'd like for you to meet old Betsy.
There's a little story that goes along with her.
Oh, hold on a second, Dad.
Go ahead.
Betsy was a present from my grandfather.
Yeah. He carved her handle from a tree behind his house.
I've had her since I was 10 years old.
All right, let's get her in the water.
Harry, let Teddy do it.
I don't think that's a good idea, Mary Lou,
Especially after what happened to Gracie...
Which I've forgotten about.
Harry, Teddy is our guest. Now make a gesture.
I don't wanna make a gesture!
He doesn't have to make a gesture.
Harry, gesture!
Here.
All right, cast away.
Not bad for a rookie.
Thanks, I've been holding stuff since I was little.
And now the excitement begins.
Is the excitement still beginning or...
Are we... are we in it now?
Harry, can you give me a hand?
Oh yes, yes. Good, good.
Have fun. I'm off to the restroom. Where is it?
It's a nasty outhouse.
All the way across the freezing lake.
But it's away from my parents, so I enjoy it.
Oh!
Betsy! Noooo!
Oh no!
They canceled "Tears of Tomorrow."
What?!
But it's been on for, like, 50 years. Why now?
It says our generation doesn't respond to it.
That's crazy.
You know, maybe if the kids
put down all the phones and the video games and the gadgets,
and actually watched the darn program...
Do you think we're spending too much time with Mrs. Dabney?
Hogwash.
That's her. I guess we have to tell her.
Huh.
Hello, boys.
Mrs. Dabney, come on in.
Have a seat.
We have some bad news.
Bad news, you say? Yes.
What is it? What's what?
What's the bad news?
You'd better sit down.
I am sitting.
Well, there's nothing left to say but...
It's over.
What's over?
They canceled
"The Tears of Tomorrow."
What?! No!
I... oh!
Did she faint? Or is she...
So all we're having for dinner is rice?
Well, usually there's fish on top of it.
But someone lost our means of catching fish.
And by that, I mean old Betsy.
And by someone, I mean you.
Mr. Wentz, I promise, right when we get home
I'll get you another fishing pole.
And are you gonna raise my grandfather from the dead to carve it?
Harry, can I talk to you for a minute in private?
You have got to change your attitude.
Teddy is our guest!
Mary Lou, the girl is an assassin.
First she killed Gracie, and now she's drowned Betsy!
Sure glad that's a private conversation.
You okay, Mrs. Dabney?
I'll never be okay again.
I don't know how I can go on without Chance Tears.
Well, at least you and Chance had a lot of years together.
Tiffany and I just met.
All right, come on.
Let's try to find something to take our minds off our loss.
Are you kidding? I've been watching that show forever.
You think I'm gonna replace it just like that?
Hey, what's this?
Though time may pass, you will never be far
from "The Edge of Yesterday."
Ooh, that looks good.
Mm-hmm.
I can't believe we never found out
who taught Charlie that word.
I don't know, Bob.
Maybe it's not important where she learned it.
What's important is that we teach Charlie
that cursing is wrong.
And I think we've done that.
How about a turn signal, you...
Case closed.
Ivy.
Ivy, Ivy. What?
I have to go to the bathroom.
Where is it? It's an outhouse.
You go outside and you follow the stench.
Thank you.
Whoa!
What was that? Teddy fell in the lake!
Oh my goodness, come on! Oh, Teddy!
Pull! Everybody pull hard!
Come on! All right, baby?
Oh, what's that? What's going on?
Aah! Wow. Hey, you caught a fish.
Whoa, and it's a beauty.
Look. Look, there's a line in its mouth.
What?
Oh. Oh, Betsy!
Oh, I missed you so much, baby.
Teddy, honey, are you okay?
Yeah, no, I'm just... I'm fine. I'm just kind of cold.
Okay. Well, Teddy,
looks like you've redeemed yourself.
You are officially invited back next year.
Noooo!
Well, Charlie, a big life lesson today...
see, when someone says they have a house on the lake,
they might mean they have a house on the lake.
Kind of an offbeat lesson, but...
well, not really a lesson at all.
Give me a break. I've gotta do a lot of these.
Well, at least one person in the family learned something.
Can I go now? This is boring.
No! Yeah?
Well, if you think I'm gonna sit in this chair
the entire 20 minutes, ho ho, good luck, Charlie.
Couldn't have said it better myself.
From the heartaches of today,
come "The Tears of Tomorrow."
You can't threaten me.
I'm Chance Tears.
Hello, Chance.
Amanda!
What are you doing here?
That's what I'd like to know.
Amanda Clone! But...
I'll handle this, Chance.
Chance Clone!
Brick!
What's goin' on here?
I knew this day would come.
Me too. Me too.
I'm confused.
Who are the real ones?
Who cares?
You take two. I'll take two.
These have been... "The Tears of Tomorrow."